I Blog...Therefore I'm Not

Funniest Thing Ever Heard in Church

(First of all you have to picture the guy saying this is about 60 years old and says it with a completely straight face).

“We are having our hanging of the greens party in 2 Saturdays.  Weve been doing this for several years.  They must have a really large family.”

Makes For a Hard Night

<a href=”http://graphjam.com/2009/10/27/song-chart-memes-level-alertness-2/“><img class=”mine_2703016448” title=”song-chart-memes-level-alertness” src=”http://graphjam.wordpress.com/files/2009/10/song-chart-memes-level-alertness.jpg” alt=”song chart memes” /></a><br />see more <a href=”http://graphjam.com“>Funny Graphs</a>

10 things my zodiac sign hates

othersideofsanity:

hey2thecow:

Gemini

People without a sense of humor (definitely true)
Not constantly being the center of attention (sometimes true)
Broken clocks and watches
Bad wine
Shoes that you can’t dance in
People who talk slowly
People that walk too slow (SO very true)
Pessimistic individuals
Addicted people
Broken technology (story of my life)

Find your own

Sagittarius

Late trains, planes, or automobiles (yes)
Not flying first class (ha! I’d have to get used to it, first)
Companions who get seasick (well…I don’t HATE them)
People who complain too much (oh yeah)
People who are afraid to take risks (But so am I, so I can’t judge)
Being accused of being bad with money (hasn’t happened yet)
People who expect them to be on time (HOLY CRAP SO TRUE)
Lost luggage (YES)
Animal abuse (Yep)
Reading about human rights violations (yep)

I feel like this is way too heavy on how I supposedly love to travel.  Which I do.  But I feel like it’s a cop out.

Cancer

Too much heat (Got it.)
Itchy wool (Yeah but does anyone really enjoy this one.)
Having to sleep on the couch (Actually no unless it means I’m in trouble.)
People who show up early (Show offs.)
People who are bad or sloppy dressers (Not too anal about this one.)
Being criticized in any way (So what do you mean BY THAT?)
Violent movies (Not ever my first choice)
Ungrateful children (Yeah)
Losing their sunglasses (Happens too often. Also see the great umbrella chase.)
People who steal the spotlight (This one is under control.  I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMille)

Refrigerator Magnet Wisdom

“I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.”

I think the trick is

othersideofsanity:

to find someone you can stand being around long enough, and mutually decide to make it work.  That’s it.  I think 99% of the problems aren’t from incompatibility or any of that bullshit, but from someone deciding that they don’t want to make it work anymore. Which may or may not be a good decision, either way.

But I think that’s how it works.

And that’s my thought for the night.

A Tiny Bit of Self Revelation

I don’t get all angsty here.  Maybe it’s a generational thing, maybe it’s just a sense that not too many would really care.  There is one thing though.  Absolutely every time I see a picture of myself I think.

“Geez I thought I was better looking than that.”

Question on a Bus

A lady sat down next to me and said, “Do you have chicken and bacon for me?”

When something like that happens do you, just for a moment, think, “Was I supposed to be carrying poultry and breakfast meat today?”

It would be truly humiliating to forget something like that.

AT&T Cell Commercial

Is that kid dense or does he really STILL not know that the family has rollover minutes.  Come on fella!!!